Divorce is an emotionally draining process – both mentally and physically. But if you wish to learn from others’ experiences, here is a list of 7 common mistakes people make while going through a divorce.
1. Not thinking about your children
If you are getting divorced and have a child, you should first make a plan for your little one. This will help your baby sail through this tough phase without turning their life upside down.
Many spouses make the big mistake of taking away all the rights and responsibilities of the kid from the opposite parent. Though one parent gets a better deal with this process, it can be problematic for your child.
So, it’s best to discuss with your spouse how the children will be cared for and how much time he or she will spend with each parent If you are not sharing joint custody.
After reaching an agreement, share the details with your child.
2. Rushing through the divorce
When you’re parting ways with your life partner, you need to have a mutual understanding of the entire process and the life after. Otherwise, it will all fall apart, and you will both suffer.
You two have to agree the relationship is ending and be on the same page as your partner. Then, you need to accept that you’ve outgrown this relationship, and there’s no way to save it.
Long story short, the separation needs to start long before filing for divorce. If you rush through the process, chances are the other person will act irrationally, making the divorce more complicated.
3. Considering the divorce as a means of revenge
If the separation is not mutual, your partner will feel betrayed. So they try to avenge themselves by using the court. It usually starts with false allegations and ends with fighting for the property. It might feel like a victory for some time, but it will cost you a fortune.
First and foremost, the more you extend the divorce process, the more the legal fees compound. As a result, half of your money will go into the divorce process.
This undue delay adversely affects the child’s mental health and results in bad grades and low confidence. In the end, you will not feel satisfied with the win because getting revenge is not the right call in the first place.
4. Ranting about your spouse to your baby
It’s okay to feel angry, depressed, frustrated, stressed, and hurt during divorce. But venting out about your partner’s fault to your child will do more harm than good. If you’re bad-mouthing your child’s other parent, it is natural to impact their mental health.
Plus, it can negatively impact future custody cases as the court focuses on providing the kid with a healthy parental relationship. So you can share your feelings with adults or a therapist.
5. Making negative assumptions
Do you know the assumption is the mother of all problems? In vulnerable and uncertain situations, humans tend to assume the worst and react accordingly. This can make the divorce process critical.
If you become extra defensive toward your partner, you take away your chance of an easy and complication-free divorce.
6. Being dishonest in the court
If you think your partner knows things about you and will use them to win over you, then lying to the court might backfire. So, for your best interest, be honest and transparent no matter how bad it is.
Dishonesty can often give your partner the upper hand, and you will be left with a settlement that is in your spouse’s favor. Further, hiding assets can lead to criminal charges of fraud.
7. Not listening to your family lawyer
Often most family lawyers have expertise in divorce cases and give you suggestions backed by years of experience. So, if you don’t listen to them, it can cause serious trouble for you.
If you feel they are not being transparent or honest with you, try to communicate and have an open conversation. If you still feel your lawyer is acting fishy, appoint a new experienced one.
Over to you…
Now that you know all the common mistakes, I hope you will not repeat them. Remember, divorce is just as difficult for your partner as it is for you – so be empathetic while you both find your unique ways out.